This is the situation. When Aubrey passed away, obviously there was an upheaval in our daily lives. People were coming and going, mommy and daddy weren't always here to put him to bed for naps, bedtime was at different times, etc. Since that week, he insists upon being rocked until he falls asleep. Once he's asleep if I move AT ALL, he clutches me and begins to cry, not wanting to be put in his bed. We moved him to a big boy bed, thinking that may help solve the problem, because then we could lay with him and comfort him to get him to go to sleep. That's what I now have to do at naptime in order for him to nap. This process sometimes takes up to.....an hour and a half. When he wakes up at night, the only person that can get him to go back to sleep is poor Greg, who goes to work most mornings exhausted. Since he's in a big boy bed now, if we try to just let him cry it out, he gets out of bed and bangs on the door, all the while yelling at us to "open the door!" We have the two girls to think of, and we don't want them waking up all hours of the night, so we have quite the dilemma.
You would think that this being our third child, we would have the sleep thing mastered now. And we did.....so we thought. ;) Any suggestions?
3 comments:
Aww, how sad and frustrating! I wish I could give you advice but I'm still learning all this stuff myself. We have the worst bed time routine. Its a work in progress! :/
Hmmm. I'm just going on the multitude of families I've witnessed that seem to have a good thing going:
One of my friends has a 3 year old who used to need mom or dad to lay with her to go to sleep...they finally asked her to let them know when they could get up, and usually within 10 minutes she rolls over and says "good night!" I think for awhile though they still had to ask her "is it ok if mommy leaves now?"
perhaps a CD? I love the Praise Baby series, as well as the Baby Einstein classical series...
It HAS to be frustrating...if I think of anything brilliant I'll let you know.
Honestly, with all the turmoil and craziness he's endured he most likely just needs to feel secure again and comfortable in a routine. Hopefully that won't take long so that you can all stay sane :0)
Here's the nanny's suggestion for ya! ;o)
You might try creating a new bedtime routine. I'd focus on the nighttime routine first. For now, at nap time I would make him stay in his room but not push the sleeping thing. Let him have a book or two and the lights off. If he falls asleep great, if not it should help him get a little rest, but also leave him tired which might help getting the bedtime routine kicked off.
A suggested routine for night--
90 min. before bed: do bath time, let him play for a while in the tub (it relaxes most kids), put on pj's
60 min. before bed: sit together in a family area with dim lights and read books and snuggle; use a bedtime drink if you do that
30 min. before bed: brush teeth, go to his room and turn off the lights. rock him for 10 minutes then put him in bed. sit next to him and rub his back for 10 minutes and sing lullabies. then leave him in the bed while you sit in the chair or floor near him for the last 10 minutes. then quietly leave the room.
If he cries (which he will for a few weeks probably), let him cry for a while. About every 5-10 minutes (depending on how loud he is crying) go back in his room, rub his back for a min., remind him mommy/daddy loves him and tell him goodnight, then leave the room again. It's a long process, but as he get's used to it the whole thing should start taking less and less time. He'll be able to do with a shorter bath time, reading time, time with you in the room, and fewer and fewer (until hopefully no) times of you coming back into the room to comfort him.
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